Earlier this week, when I found myself on the phone talking to my ex there was something different about him.
It wasn’t that we were getting along. It wasn’t that he was finally saying all the things I had wished he had been saying. But it was that he was happy.
He was actually happy.
It had been a long time since I had heard him be that happy. I honestly can’t remember making him that happy in our marriage. I’m sure I did at some point, but he was genuinely happy.
And it was because of her.
I know that’s weird of me to talk about, but it was.
It was her.
He talked about her and you could hear the smile in his voice.
I thought I would be upset. That it would hurt. Knowing that it wasn’t me who made him happy, but I realized that wasn’t my job.
Let me explain.
Did I love my ex? Of course I did, but it was a specific kind of love.
Oh, I thought we would be together forever. I had invested 10 years of my life into that relationship only to have it end through a text. I spent days and weeks and months analyzing everything I did leading up to that moment. Trying to figure it all out, but I couldn’t.
Until I heard how happy he was.
I know some people get into a relationship that ends and they can’t understand it. They can’t help but claim that it was a waste of their time.
But I don’t believe that.
Even though it didn’t work out the way I thought it would, I think it’s better. I think it served it’s purpose.
Yes, my marriage ended. Yes, it was sad. But look at what has happened because of that.
And I don’t think it was a waste of time. I think it did what it was supposed to do.
You guys, not only is my ex happy, but I am. I have found this man who is unlike anything I’ve ever known.
Do I wish I had found him sooner? Of course. I’m crazy about him and now that he’s in my life, I can’t imagine a second without him.
But the timing was perfect.
Because not only has God given me an amazing guy, but He made sure to give me my amazing kids. And without my ex, they wouldn’t be here.
I had to ‘waste that time’ so I could have them.
Hard to be upset at that, especially as I sit here writing this watching them play on the couch.
My ex wasn’t the love of my life. And I wasn’t the love of his life either. But what our temporary love did was give me two of the greatest joys I could ever have.
And who knows, maybe it’s even introduced me to the love of my life.
Sometimes it can be hard to understand God’s plan. Sometimes it’s hard to think that anything good can come from something that hurt so bad. But you guys, that’s when you go back to my favorite verse of all times and you read it, over and over and over again.
“In all things, God works for the good of those who love him.” Romans 8:28
Because had my marriage not ended. I would be miserable. Had my marriage not ended I never would have learned to fall in love with myself. Had my marriage not ended I never would have met the man who has swept me off my feet. Had the marriage not ended I never would have understood the point of it all.
So see? It had to end.
Because how else would we have known how to be so happy?
3 For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
2 a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
3 a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4 a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5 a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6 a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7 a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8 a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.