1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3 You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4 Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5 You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9 If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10 even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12 even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
13 For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
19 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20 They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22 I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
24 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!
The perfect Psalm to end on. Don’t you just love these verses? The intimacy. The love. All the things we desire. All the things we search for. And here they are freely given to us not because of who we are, but because of who He is. He doesn’t just know us based on what we share, He knows the very depths of who we are because He created us. He knows our thoughts before we do. He knows it all. And yet, He still loves us so. Because I don’t know about you, but I don’t always have good thoughts and I am not always what I expect Him to love. Far from it most days, but nonetheless, He loves us anyways. He loves us in spite of. And y’all. That’s something to be grateful for.
Oh Lord, thank you. Thank you for choosing to love me even after knowing me. Thank you for loving me when I don’t deserve it. Thank you for loving me when it’s hard to love myself. Thank you for understanding this prayer even though I am falling very short of the words that I want to say. Thank you for knowing my thoughts before they even come to my mind. Because maybe, somewhere along them you will be able to know just how grateful I am for your love even when I can’t form the words to tell you. Lord, thank you. Lord, help this not be a fleeting moment, but send your helper to me so that I may constantly be reminded of your love and I can be grateful everyday. Because you are so good Lord. Lord, thank you. Amen.