So recently I’ve been living or trying to live (verdict is still out on that) in a season of contentment.
God has really put it on my heart that despite my best efforts this is where I am supposed to be, doing what I’m supposed to be doing.
I can stop trying to run.
I can finally stop and catch my breath.
As a single mother I am constantly thinking about money. Maybe that’s an unfair assessment? Maybe we’re all thinking about money.
I know I am.
Whether I have enough. If I will have enough. How I wish I had more. What I would do with more if I had it.
You get the picture.
Yesterday I found myself praying.
My bank account had only $20 in it and payday was a long ways away.
So I prayed.
I prayed that I would get to a place financially where I didn’t have to worry.
I even threw out a specific amount, you know, just in case He wasn’t sure. ;)
But before I could even say ‘amen’ I knew I was wrong.
I was completely wrong in that prayer.
He could answer it. I have no doubt that He could provide the exact dollar amount per my request. But it wasn’t really about the money.
‘You can be…’ He answered.
I retraced my words wondering what He was talking about.
‘You can be…’ He repeated.
And He was right.
I could be.
I didn’t have to worry.
Even with only $20 in my bank account and payday a long ways away. I didn’t have to worry.
Because I can be in that place despite the size of my paycheck.
Because I can be in that place by choosing to trust Him.
Because at the end of the day it comes down to me and where I put my faith.
The truth is, instead of praying for more money, I need to change my prayer.
What I need besides a bigger paycheck is a complete change in heart.
A change in the way I look at money.
A change in the way I handle my money.
Because, let’s be honest, I’ll never have ‘enough’.
No one can serve two masters, since either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. Matthew 6:24
But the truth is that I already do.
I already have more than enough.
I have so much because of what Jesus chose to do for me on the cross when He gave up His perfect life for my messy, broken, imperfect life.
And so do you.
More than any dollar amount we could ever want.
Lord, thank you. Thank you for sending your only son to take my place on that cross. Thank you for always giving me enough. Even when I don’t deserve it. Lord, change my heart. Help me to be content despite my circumstances. Despite the size of my paycheck or the size of my bank account. Remind me always that you are enough. You are all I need. And help to make you all I want. I pray these things in your name. For your honor and glory. Amen.