Y’all, I think I’ve been doing it all wrong.
Let me start off by asking you the same question someone asked me.
“Why do you go to church on Sunday morning?”
I didn’t even have to think about the answer.
I go because it’s what I do. I go because of how I feel when I’m there. I go because I want my kids to be raised in a church.
And sure, there’s nothing really wrong with those answers, but there is something missing from those answers.
Let me ask you another question.
“Why do you read the Bible?”
To comfort myself. To educate myself. To find answers.
Again, nothing wrong with those answers and yet, they are still missing something.
Y’all, I’ve been doing it all wrong.
Because this whole time I’ve made it about myself.
What can God do for me?
I never really thought of it like that. I thought I was doing right by reading the Bible and going to church every Sunday.
You know me, dotting my i’s and crossing my t’s.
But the truth is, it should never be about me.
It should be about Him.
Yes, the beautiful thing about Him is that when we honor Him and we praise Him, it does something for us too. It gives us that warm, fuzzy feeling that so many of us long for. But it isn’t about that feeling.
It’s about Him.
I have been to church for answers. For when I’m having a bad week, a bad day, a bad morning. You name it. I go and I try to make myself feel better.
What can you do for me?
When I’m struggling in life, as a single mother, with finances, relationships, you name it. I flip open my Bible and I try to make myself feel better.
But, it isn’t about me.
Whether I’m happy or sad or stressed or not, it isn’t about me.
It should be about Him.
I should be praising Him and worshiping Him despite what my personal life looks like.
It should never be about what He can do for me, but rather, what I can do for Him.
Now, in the grand scheme of things I realize I really can’t do much for Him. Truth be told, He doesn’t need me. But thankfully, He doesn’t expect much.
And instead of showing up on Sunday mornings for me, I can show up for Him.
I can stop worrying about what He can do for me and I can just show up for Him.
I can love Him.
I can love Him with my whole heart.
Instead of opening up my Bible to answer all the questions I have to the unfairness of life, I can just be grateful for His living word.
I can just spend time with Him.
Now, I’m not saying we can’t pray. Or that we shouldn’t pray. I firmly believe that in order to be in a relationship with God, we need to be able to talk to Him.
And I don’t know about you, but my life would be even more of a wreck if I wasn’t able to pray to Him.
But instead of focusing on the prayer. Instead of focusing on the desired outcome of the specific prayer. Perhaps, I could focus on the action.
The very blessing that it is to be able to go to Him in prayer. (Thank you Jesus)
Truth be told, I can find myself off track, a lot.
Desiring my will instead of His.
I’m there right now.
Boldly praying for Him to do things my way.
But I think I have it all wrong.
The bold part is not asking Him to do things my way, it’s being able to talk to Him at all.
Because it’s not about me. It’s about Him.
Because, y’all. I’ve been doing it all wrong.
It was never actually about me. That’s the sin and the brokenness in our world. That’s the reminder that I desperately need Him in all things.
Even in these kinds of things.
Because I mess up.
Because even when it’s about Him, I make it about me.
Lord, help me to make it about you.