Waiting

I couldn’t help but think that the sermon last Sunday was something just for me. 

Oh, I’m sure it applied to other people and their lives, but there was no denying that this was just another one of our intimate conversations that just so happen to take place in a large room full of people.

“Waiting,” the pastor began, “we are always waiting for something.” 

I perked up.

“We are waiting for the big things. The little things. The mundane things. Always waiting for something.”

Well, if that ain’t the darn truth? 

I have spent my entire life waiting. Waiting to find the right man. Waiting for a proposal. Waiting for the wedding day. Waiting to get pregnant. Waiting to meet each child after carrying them for 9 long months. Waiting for dinner. Waiting for a promotion. Waiting for a sale. Waiting for an apology. Waiting to see if my ex husband would come home after walking out. Waiting for an apartment. Waiting for a car. And most recently, waiting for a boyfriend.

Always waiting on something.

This past week or so God has really put it on my heart to ‘remain’. That’s the word that keeps coming to mind after every prayer. After every good cry. After I yell at Him for a little while. 

Remain.

Now, for those who know me, this goes against everything that I am. I don’t remain. I do. I fix. I manipulate. I control. Being still. Waiting. Being patient. Being content. Remaining. That’s not me.

Not even close.

As the conversation continued and the word ‘remain’ occupied my thoughts, I reflected back to the things I wait on. 

What happens when we’re done waiting. When we first lay eyes on the child that has grown inside of our bellies for 9 months? Or when we finally get that promotion at work that we’ve waited so long for? Or the wedding day that comes and goes in a blink of an eye? Then what? 

“Often times our hopes, our wishes, they’re too small,” he said.

See, I’ve just wanted a boyfriend. Sure, I have a checklist that I hope to check off once I meet him, but really it’s just a boyfriend that I’m waiting on. (Excuse me, was waiting on.) But what if God’s plan is to make that hope of having a boyfriend something bigger. Something I couldn’t even begin to imagine. 

And the thing is, I think He’s protecting me from settling with hope that is too small. 

Turn with me to Luke 1: 5-22. Anyone else relate to Zechariah? Here God sends an angel to give Zechariah some pretty unbelievable news. And he doesn’t believe it. He had hoped for a baby for a really long time, but he made his current hopes and wishes in relation to what he could do. 

Not what He could do. 

I have scoured online dating apps and services looking to find a man that I could spend time with. That would make me feel complete. My hopes had become based on what I could do. But God, God says that I should remain. Not because He’s mean. Or because He doesn’t want me to be happy. But because He has something so much better in store for me. Maybe it’s a boyfriend. Maybe it isn’t. But His hopes for me, aren’t based on what I can do.  

He wants me to have hopes based on what He can do. 

So I remain. I remain because I can’t even begin to think like He does. Because I will settle, every single time, I’ll settle. And if I’m waiting on everything else anyways why not wait for Him. 

Because if you’ll turn to verses 68-79 you’ll see that God always delivers HIs promises. 

And as the pastor continued to talk, “because here was Zechariah, when Elizabeth finally bore their son, it wasn’t the son he boasted about. It was about God coming to his people and keeping the promise that He had made nearly 3,000 years earlier. That was the hope. That was the big picture. God always keeps His word to us.”

So, if God says to remain, I remain. Even if it isn’t easy and even if it’s the last thing I want to do. Because God delivers His promises and He’s already told me that He’s got something pretty amazing in store for me. And I don’t have to settle anymore. 

I just have to remain and wait on Him.

And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord. Luke 1:45

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