Alarm Clock

You know, I’m starting to feel like I have this whole ‘single’ thing down. There are times when I actually really enjoy being single.

And then there are times when I don’t.

Don’t get me wrong, I do like living alone. A lot. I like cleaning the house when I want. Making dinner when I want. Shopping when I want. Doing laundry when I want.

Or doing none of those things when I want.

I love not having to hear alarm clocks. I love being able to read late at night. Or wake up early in the morning. And actually turn the lights on if I want. I love being able to shower with the door open. Or closed.

I love being able to spread all of my amazing Beautycounter products all over my bathroom counter and not have to worry if it’s in the way.

I love being able to pick what I want to watch on TV and sleep without the TV on at night. Or not.

And I love being able to be the one who gets to decide.

But then there are times when I miss the little things. The things I took for granted because, let’s be honest, I never actually thought I would be getting a divorce. I never thought that after spending 10 years with someone that one day he would just decide he didn’t want to do it anymore.

And so I wasn’t quite ready to give up those things.Or have them taken from me. However you want to look at it.

Honestly, I miss having something to look forward to. Someone to look forward to.

I miss conversations. Sharing things that happened in my day with someone else.

Storytelling. Man do I miss storytelling.

I miss being able to ask someone to get me something while they’re in the kitchen. Or to grab me a towel because I forgot to get one before I jumped in the shower.

I miss listening to someone else talk. Someone else’s thoughts. Someone else’s perspective.

I miss having someone who knows me for me. Who knows what I mean when I say one thing, but do another. I miss having someone who gets my quirks and my weird habits.

And while I love the quiet, I miss the noise that comes with being with someone. I miss the chaos of trying to get on the same page most days. I miss not knowing everything that’s going to happen the next day.

I guess I miss the suspense that relationships bring.

But most of all, I miss having someone to do this with. To share this with. And while I certainly do enjoy dating myself, I just miss having someone here with me. Actually here with me.

I guess I actually miss the alarm clock after all.

 

2 thoughts on “Alarm Clock

  1. That was so well put. I’d like to share it with my friends who have lost their husbands….but not yet. I hope I can save it. You have a very special talent for expressing yourself. It is a real gift. Love grandma

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