I have spent days, weeks, years actually, thinking about what I would write when this happened.
I spent hours imagining what it would feel like.
As always, He has exceeded my expectations.
I’m home. For two and a half years I have prayed for this moment. I didn’t think it would be this good, but it is.
It’s weird though. I am so genuinely happy to be here, but at the same time I can see the leaving again lurking in the background.
‘Don’t get too comfortable,’ it says.
I drive the roads I used to drive for years and I try to take it all in. I scold myself. Why didn’t I appreciate this more when it was mine? When it was all I knew.
I’ve spent most of my life trying to get away, and now I find that all I want is to come back.
It isn’t just my family or my dear friends. It isn’t about the country air or the fact that no one is ever in a hurry down here. It isn’t even the vacation mindset where I’ve just been told to relax, that makes me want to stay, it’s just, well, I’m home.
The people here know me. They’ve known me long enough to watch me make mistakes. They’ve seen me make my biggest accomplishments too.
We have stories and backgrounds. We have memories.
‘Remember that time?’
I know it may sound silly to some of you, but that might be one of my favorite sentences ever.
And I don’t have that in Houston. (Not yet anyways.)
I remember how hard it was to leave, but I was optimistic. Now, I know the reality of what I’m going back to and while I miss my husband, and I’m a little chilly here, the reality is I have been very lonely these last couple of years.
It was never about a certain place, although let’s be honest, NC>Houston, just because of the trees, grass, mountains, clean air, cooler temperatures, etc, but it’s about the people here. The people who know my stories. The people who are my stories. The people who make my stories.
But that’s how you know it’s good. That’s how you know it’s worth it because it is so hard to leave. That’s how you know the stories are good because they can survive not being told all the time. We can pause the chapter and resume later when life lets us.
And everytime we share a story it just gets better and better.
Because that’s what happens when your home.
And I’m finally home.