I have been trying to come up with the words for weeks, months, actually, now that I think about it, it’s been over a year.
For over a year I have searched for these words. I had tried to explain exactly how I felt, but I couldn’t.
As a writer, a person who is in love with words, I struggled to form complete sentences. I just couldn’t get them out.
I have known that the cheating and the separation were good, actually.
Yes, I get that they are terrible and disgusting wnd selfish acts. I understand that there weren’t intended to be good. I understand that I am still hurt by them. But they were good.
See, you’re probably like ‘what is she even talking about? How could any of that be good?!’
Exactly, that’s the reaction I had for awhile too. While I knew it was good, but couldn’t explain why, I also knew how I felt, how Lauren the wife felt, and she didn’t like it at all.
I have been participating in BIOY (Bible in One Year) since the beginning of the year. It’s a daily devotional where I will finish the bible in one year.
There have been a few times where things have really stood out to me and I couldn’t help but think He had something to do with it, but I have never been as sure until today.
2 Corinthians 1:1-11 was the passage we were to read. The author then asks if we’ve ever suffered loss or bereavement? Do we find ourselves under great pressure? Are we in a time of difficulty, disappointment or hardships?
Oh yeah! That’s me! Over here!!
Now Paul who was the founding pastor of the Corinthian church wrote a very personal letter that revealed his feelings as a man who understood what it meant to go through trouble, sufferings, distress, hardships, and pressure, but rather than complaining he starts the letter with praise. It wasn’t for the problems, but the positive benefits that had come from them.
As I began to read, I found my words.
- You will be comforted
- You will be a help to others
- You will be changed
- You will not be alone
- You will learn to trust God
- You will be rescued
- Your prayers will help others
Yes. All these things. This is exactly why I continue to tell people that those things, the cheating, the walking out, the not-knowing for 3 months, were the best things that could have ever happened to me. Because all of these things happened and are still happening. And they are so good.
Of course, those things didn’t happen all at once and there has been a lot of time in between each one, so it isn’t always pretty. I haven’t always been grateful for what was happening, but now that I’m at a place where I have both recognized and accepted what has happened for what it is, I can see that there was always so many more blessings involved.
It was always good because He is always good.
But I don’t think this happens unless we are paying attention to Him above everything else. I think He’s gotta be the focus. Otherwise it’s just too easy to pay attention to all the bad things.
But if He’s our focus, well, then there’s not room for anything else.