Last night, my feelings were hurt. Maybe I shouldn’t have let it bother me. But it did. For a long time I have struggled with the idea of not being good enough. This is a problem in all areas of my life, from being a daughter, to a wife, to a mother, to a friend, to an entrepreneur. You name it. I never feel like I’m enough.
Now, I’ve been working through this with healing prayer and counseling and the truth is it’s really just a choice that I have to learn to make. I have to recognize that I am good enough.
I am good enough because I know how hard I work. I’m good enough because I know how hard I try. I’m good enough because I really do give it my all.
But most of all I’m good enough because He says I am.
I woke up this morning hoping that I wouldn’t think about the things that were said to me the night before, but of course I did. They were the first things that I thought of when my eyes opened.
As I made my cup of coffee and sat down to spend some quiet time with God I quickly prayed that He would change my heart and my reaction to getting my feelings hurt.
You see, my first reaction is, well, you hurt me so now I have to hurt you. Tit for tat. But after spending so much time with God while my husband and I were separated I’ve come to realize that while hurting people hurt people nothing good comes out of it.
So I prayed.
And just like that something ‘clicked’.
This person who hurt my feelings had begun our conversation talking about someone who had hurt their feelings. They had grown up never feeling like they were never good enough.
They shared that no matter what they did it was never enough.
All they wanted was acceptance, approval, a pat on the back, but it never happened.
I sat back and listened. It didn’t click then. I just listened. Nodding my head. I felt bad for them. My heart broke for them. But then the tables turned.
Not two minutes before they had been sharing their hurt and then they did to me exactly what had been done to them. Tit for tat.
Hurting people hurt people.
It would appear that we had switched places and taken a step back. I was them. They were the constant disapproval. Suddenly they forgot what it had felt like to never amount to anything in someone else’s eyes. They forgot how awful it felt to never get the approval they so desperately wanted. Needed.
I didn’t get upset. Not visibly. I kept quiet just kind of going along with the conversation until it was over.
So as I began to listen to what God was saying to me I lost all of my feelings of hurt. I didn’t want to hurt them back. I realized I was enough to Him.
And then something else happened. Suddenly, I was filled with compassion. Suddenly my heart ached even more for them. I could see them through His eyes. They were enough too.
As I thought back to the stories that had been shared I realized I could now see where He was during all of it and He was right there beside them. Every single time. Trying to get them to realize that they were enough. That He approved. That He was proud.
Too often we don’t see Him. We ignore Him. We set our standards on something else besides Him.
If we just had this job or this amount of money or if our family looked like this or if we lived in this kind of house.
But really we are enough because Jesus made us enough.
That’s all there is to it. He doesn’t care what we drive, where we live, how we dress, how much money we make, He cares about who we are as a person. What our heart looks like.
And because of a simple, selfish prayer, I can see what He sees. I am enough. I don’t need to hurt. And I don’t need to hurt others.
I am enough because He says I am. You are enough because He says you are.
So have compassion on those who hurt you. Be the difference. And just love.
They need it the most.