Can I Get an Amen?!

I took a Spiritual Gifts and Personality test the other day. I wasn’t completely shocked to see the results. I still need to meet with some people at my church to go a little more in-depth with my gift and what it all means, but because I am impatient I set out to learn as much as I could on my own.

If you haven’t already, you should take these tests. If you aren’t sure where to begin, please check out my church’s SHAPE Ministry, they can help.

My personality was spot on. Perfect Melancholy.

Personality Strengths of the Melancholy

Deep and thoughtful
Analytical
Serious and purposeful
Genius prone
Talented and creative
Artistic or musical
Appreciative of beauty
Sensitive to others
Self-sacrificing
Conscientious
Idealistic
As a parent, sets high standards and wants everything done right.
As a homemaker, keeps everything in order.
As an employee, schedule oriented and hard working.
A list maker and keeper.

Personality Weaknesses of the Melancholy

Easily offended
Can get too caught up in details
Doesn’t do well with change.
Struggles with insecurity
Tends towards depression

Yep, that’s me. Did you know that we also tend to isolate ourselves? I mean, talk about hitting the nail on the head, right?

Next I learned that my top 3 Spiritual Gifts are as followed:
1. Creative Communication
2. Prayer
3. Faith

Well, obviously.

I scratched my head on numbers 2 and 3, though.

For those who know me well, you know that I am scared to death to pray in front of others. I’m so laid back with God and praying to me is more like having a conversation. I listen to others pray and it’s so eloquent, so well spoken. Not me. Nope. I stumble and I stutter. I lose my train of thought. I ramble. No matter which order I put them in, my words just fall out into a mess.

And faith? Seriously? The queen of control. How could my spiritual gift be faith? And trust me these scores were very close together. VERY CLOSE.

It’s hard to explain, but I believe in faith. I know I have faith, but only when I run out of all other options. I never start a situation with faith. I fall on faith. And most times, I fall hard on faith.

But as I read the results, as I googled all over the place, I realized that when you got down to the root of it, I was these things. I am these things.

Me. Messed up, screwed up, lost, imperfect, me.

As I thought more about these gifts and what these gifts meant, I realized that now that I knew, now that I had it in front of me, that I wanted to use my gifts.

I hope, I PRAY, that this blog, this open diary to you, is my gift of Creative Communication. I pray that as you stumble through life, that these words, no matter how messy or honest, that these words will help bring you closer to your Father.

I can see this gift playing out in my life, but the other two? Was He crazy?

Sure, I talk to God all of the time. Throughout the day. I thought for a long time that you had to sit quietly, unbothered, to really focus on God, but my life isn’t quiet. It’s anything, but quiet. It’s kids, and laughing, and running, and playing, and imagining. I don’t have ‘quiet time’. But I talk to Him all day long. He’s my friend.

Faith? Well, I guess when you get down to it, I have it and most days it’s all I hold on to. It may take me a long time to recognize it, but yeah, I know with certainty that God will take care of me and He will provide for me. You too. I know that. If you need proof, I’m here. Just look at me. Still standing and with a smile on my face.

So of course I find it super fitting that on the day I take these tests, I get bad news all day long. From student loans to a not so great paycheck to a depleted bank account and bills that just seem to keep piling up. I was everywhere that day. And my reaction? Write, Pray, and have Faith that it will be just fine.

How’s that for conversation?!

There He was letting me know that not only was He going to handle it, but that I was also equipped, because of Him, to handle it.

(And something tells me, something just lets me know, that one of you, someone who is reading this, needed to read this.)

I just can’t get over how amazing and awesome He is. How well He knows us. How He made us perfectly for the life we were called to live. How He can take what we believe are our weaknesses and use them as gifts! How He can take what could have been a really bad day and use it to glorify Him.

I write because of those things. I pray because of those things. And I have faith because of those things.

Can I get an Amen?!

2 thoughts on “Can I Get an Amen?!

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