Have you ever wondered to yourself if you’re where you’re supposed to be? I constantly wonder if I’m doing what I should be doing. I just think back to all of the paths I’ve taken and all of the decisions that I have made and I wonder if they were right.
Texas, and the idea that this is my new home has been a huge topic of doubt and wondering. I have had a hard time believing that this is where I am supposed to be. You see, I had worked so hard to make North Carolina my home, and for all of it to be to a waste has been nothing less than devastating.
I have prayed and prayed and prayed for comfort and I have prayed for a ‘sign’ of some sort for reassurance. I wanted God to give me a grand production. I wanted an explanation. I wanted a reason. But most of all I wanted validation.
So on Friday, because His timing is perfect, He gave me exactly what I needed.
I had sat down to do some sewing. Jaxsyn and Adelaide Blue were playing together in my room. The music was on. My windows were open, the breeze was filling up my house, and my phone notified me of a new email.
Now usually, I don’t check my emails as often as I should and even if I do check them, it’s usually scrolling through my phone to see if anything important came. I rarely open emails up. I’m just not an emailer. But that day I opened it.
It was from a sweet lady from church. I had asked for prayers (still asking) that Justin and I would be able to find a new house to rent, something affordable, in a safe area, that met all of our needs. In her response she agreed to pray for us and even suggested a woman she had used for help finding her home when she moved to Houston.
She continued her email by telling me that her and our Deacon had recently gotten together to discuss the Women’s Ministry at church, where my name had come up. They were curious to see if I would be the communications lady for the Women’s Ministry. I read the sentence again, and there it was. There was God’s grand production.
It was like everything had suddenly become very clear. Time was moving slowly. I glanced around my house and felt like I was finally at home. I immediately stopped what I was doing, and I prayed. I thanked God. For Everything.
Now most of you are probably sitting here reading this wondering what exactly happened. You’re probably wondering why this was such a big moment for me, so let me explain.
When I graduated from high school I knew that I wanted to go to college. There was nothing else I wanted to do. I’m not sure why I wanted to go. I suppose as a senior in high school, I still had my whole life ahead of me and I was excited to take chances. I still believed that I could do anything I wanted and so college it was.
I loved college. I had a lot of fun in college. I didn’t, however, enjoy the academics so much, and so I dropped out just a few credits shy of graduating. The plan was to take a year off and then return, but that didn’t happen. It wasn’t until after Jaxsyn was born that I decided I wanted to go back to school. It wasn’t so I could land a dream job, but it was more so that I could prove people wrong. That I could be the exception to the rule. So I could make Jaxsyn proud. And so I went back.
I graduated in May 2012.
But ever since I graduated, I haven’t used my degree. I’m not even sure that I want to use my degree. I don’t really want to work in a professional setting because I have decided to be a mom first. And so most of the time, a lot of the time, I get upset with myself and I wonder why in the heck did I even put myself through all the trouble it took to get a college degree. What was the point?
And 2 years later, there it was, on a Friday afternoon, in an email, there it was. There was the point. It wasn’t a waste of time. He knew. And He let me know.
Maybe I’m not supposed to work in a fancy building from 9-5. But instead, I’m supposed to use my degree and my talent for Him.
I don’t believe in coincidences. I don’t believe in chance. I believe that everything happens for a reason because how else would that sweet lady from my church and our Deacon know that I went to school for communications?! How would they know that that is something I love and have such a passion for? The answer: they wouldn’t, but He did. And because He works so perfectly, He assured me just as I asked Him too.
So friends, that took 2 years. 2 years! So what does this mean?! It means if you ask, He will answer. If you ask, He will provide. He makes everything just the way it should be and He uses each of us in our own special way. He made us just as we should be made. He made us so that we may do what He needs us to do. And we just have to learn to trust Him.
For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members of one another. Romans 12: 4-5
I should also note that I have been praying about doing more with the church. I have been praying about ministering to others and being an example to those who are struggling with their relationship with God. So not only did He comfort me about my path and my decisions, but He also opened up a door for me, and He placed me with the Women’s Ministry.
Seriously? How freaking cool is that?!?!