It’s been awhile, I know, but I needed some time to think, to get back down to my roots. Sometimes I just get so caught up with writing, that I lose the passion to write with. Sometimes I get so distracted that I just need to take a step back and figure it all out again.
With 2013 being over, I reflected back on what a hard year it’s been for me. It could very well be the hardest year of my life. Make sure that when you read that sentence you don’t associate ‘hard’ with ‘worse’ because it wasn’t, not at all actually.
2013 was emotional. I have experienced every single emotion that I can think of. I have been given so many opportunities this past year to grow and to learn. I can’t help but think ‘how appropriate’ when I realize that in just 30 days I will be turning 30 and up until this past year, I thought I had most of life figured out, but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
It’s been a hard year. I struggled for most of the year, but in my struggle, in my lowest of low’s, I started building a relationship with Him. And let me make this known, had it not been for Him, for Him always being there, for Him listening to me yell, and scream, and cry, and laugh, and pray, and weep, and giggle, had it not been for Him, I wouldn’t be. There’s no ending to that sentence. I just wouldn’t be.
There was/is no way that I would have gotten through 2013 without Him right there with me. He carried, held, lifted, walked, ran, sat, and laid with me the whole time. He never grew weak and He never gave up.
He’s got huge plans for me. And I’m ready for them. I’m ready to get back down to my roots and I’m ready to be used by Him for Him.
I never thought that I would ever be ‘good’ enough for Him to use me, but something that I learned in 2013 is that He made us just the way He wants us to be. He put us on this earth when He knew that we would do our best for Him. He is so marvelous and so I’m surprised that I didn’t understand this earlier, but I understand it now and I’m ready.
While most people would have wished away 2013, I didn’t. I don’t. Sure, things didn’t work out like they were supposed to. We didn’t strike it rich by making the move to Texas. We didn’t stop stressing, or worrying, or wondering how bills were going to get paid. Things were still hard. It’s true when they say ‘the grass is always greener…’ We struggled with our marriage, with our family. We were tested and tried. We were worn out. We were ready to give up, but we figured it out and we made it (all in one piece, might I add) to 2014.
So my wishes for 2014? Whatever He has planned is just fine by me. He seems to know what He’s doing. :)