Often times I have talked about struggle. For whatever reason, I thought that it would get easier, the more I believed. I believed that if my faith was strong enough that I could take on the world, and in a sense I can, but sometimes, and by sometimes, I mean, most of the time, I really just feel like hauling off and smacking people upside the head! They make me so angry. So, very, very, very, very angry.
I had participated in a conversation on a Facebook post and boy, was it a conversation. There were over 300 comments last I checked, and it wore me out.
I was strong enough to pull through, because there were times, lots of times, when I tried to just walk away, but I just couldn’t let them think that they had ‘won’. I mean, I was defending my God, my Lord, after all.
But their condescending remarks started to get to me. They couldn’t understand why I believed wives should submit to their husbands, they couldn’t understand why I would give God credit for the good in my life, but not blame Him for the bad. They kept coming and coming with their harsh words and LOL’s, and I kept my cool, but on the other side of the computer I was livid.
For a group that promoted openness and acceptance, I felt anything but accepted. Sure, there were no personal attacks. I mean, there were, but only a few of us picked up on it, and for most of the conversation, it was pleasant, but some of the things that came out of their mouths (or hands) I just sat and stared. I was blown away by their ignorance.
And I left last night tired and worn out. I was tired of defending myself. I was tired of responding to their double edge swords. And so I came home last night, and I prayed.
I went to bed afterwards. Still tired and drained. I knew God had heard my prayer, but I didn’t know what I was supposed to do next and so I went to sleep.
This morning, I woke up way too early. I am still sleepy and I’m hoping there’s a nap in my near future. (I was so tired, that I actually brewed an entire pot of sugar, yep, true story.) But I woke up spiritually refreshed. I knew that He was proud of me. I knew that He thought I did a darn good job of telling people about Him, and I knew that He was with me the whole time.
I know that there won’t be any knocks at my door to learn more. (They made that known) And I know that when they asked, they weren’t really interested in the answers, they just wanted to see why myself and a few others could be so weird, I get that, but what they don’t realize is that God has been revealed to them. God has shown himself. It might not have been the grand spectacle that they wanted, but He was there and now they’ve been introduced or re-introduced. (BAM!)
Just another reason why our God is so awesome. Even when people least expect Him, even when we don’t think He is close, He’s always there, just as He promised. And I’m sure He got quite the chuckle from my pot of sugar water.