What the Heck Happened to Me?

We all know that things change. People change. It’s to be expected. And it’s a good thing. Could you imagine life if no one changed? No thanks, but I can’t help but chuckle when I look back on the person I was and the person I am today.

I never really wanted kids. Nope. No thanks. I eventually began to alter that statement and said that if I did have kids I would only want them from a few months old to about 5 years of age because before a few months they were boring and after 5 they were sassy. Well, turns out their sassy from the beginning, but they are perfect and adorable and great and if I could have 10 more I would.

I never wanted to get married. Sure, I wanted the big wedding and the dress and the reception, but I was all like “who needs a piece of paper?” Well, I got the wedding, it was far from big. And that piece of paper means more to me than anything else and I’m happy that I realized it wasn’t just a piece of paper.

I’ve always been somewhat of a hippie. I’ve never fully committed to the role, but it’s there and some days you can see it better than other days. I owe it to my parents. People have found it hilarious that I have been such a conservative hippie. Does that even exist? I mean, it has too, because here I am. But lately I’ve taken full advantage of my hippie-ness.

I never thought that I would be cloth diapering. When I had Jaxsyn, even though I had never loved something the way that I loved him, there was no way, NO WAY, that I wanted to clean poop out of diapers. But had I known what I know with Adelaide, you bet your bottom dollar I would do things differently. I love cloth diapers. I love how cute they are. I love how easy they are to take care of. I love that they don’t leak (you have to find what works for your baby, luckily, we’ve figured it out from the beginning). And I love not having to spend money just to throw it in the trash!

I never thought that I would be such an advocate for babywearing. I never thought that there was anything wrong with the stroller, but now I understand how awesome it is to wear your baby. It takes multitasking to a whole new level, especially if you can wear your baby while nursing! BAM! I am woman, hear me freaking roar! (There’s still nothing wrong with the stroller, except it just takes up a lot of room in my trunk!)

I never thought that I would encourage co-sleeping & bedsharing. I love my sleep and I can be pretty lazy if I’m trying to sleep, so in the beginning with Jaxsyn we co-slept (slept in the same room) and then we transitioned him to his crib in his room. I was up all of the time. Not only was I awake, but I was walking back and forth between two rooms. And for those of you who have kids, you know how one minute you can get them to lay down and they’re fine, but for no reason, not even a minute or two later, all hell has broke lose, causing me to have to get up again. I stuck it out though, not knowing any better and we made it until we were 2 years old, and then he decided that he would rather sleep with me. He didn’t wake up in the middle of the night, really, but there was something sweet about sleeping together, as a family. So when Adelaide Blue was born, I knew that I would be bedsharing with both kids. I get a lot of strange looks when I talk about it, but it’s been amazing. First, bedsharing is safe if you take precautions. Second, I don’t have to wake up and go into the next room. She’s right there beside me and I can nurse her all through the night without depriving myself of sleep. I bought a crib for her. Jaxsyn and Adelaide Blue have their own room, but this is what works for us. And one day, sooner than I would like, both my babies will no longer want to sleep with their mama and so I’m gonna keep taking advantage of the time while I still have it. And as far as privacy goes? Well, I’m not sure what privacy is anymore, seeing as how I can’t even go to the bathroom with the door shut anymore, but I guess that’s what date night is for. ;)

I never thought I would be making instead of buying. I’ve always been crafty, making picture frames or scrapbooks. But now I am actually making things we need. It is my dream that I could learn to provide for my family the things we need without having to go to the store to buy it. I used to think it was weird for people to make clothes for their kids, but now I want to learn. I want a garden. I want chickens. I have already eliminated toothpaste, teeth whitener, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, body spray, laundry detergent, cloth diaper detergent, dryer sheets, fabric softener, lotion, vapor rub, hair spray, and insect repellent, and I cannot wait to see what else I can do, make, create. (Shameless plug: If you want to eliminate the store, but don’t have time or desire to make for yourself, go check out http://www.facebook.com/shemadeithomemades! And my Etsy shop will be open this weekend, so be sure to check that out too!)

I never wanted to stay home with my kids. Well, that is until I had them. But even while I was pregnant with Jaxsyn, I knew that I wanted to go back to work. It wasn’t because I didn’t want to spend time with my baby, but it was because I refused to let pregnancy or babies prevent me from doing anything. But once I was given the option to stay home, I never turned back. I can’t imagine going to work everyday and leaving these two. I am so blessed that I have been able to make that decision to stay home. And there are times when an extra paycheck would really help (actually most of the time!), but it works for us.

I never thought i would ever homeschool. When I tell people, I get the same looks I used to give. My image of homeschooled kids was not flattering. They were weird, and strange, and bizarre, and their parents weren’t any better, but the thought of sending my kids to public school (and this could change later) seems weird, and strange, and bizarre. There is so much crap in this world, so much nonsense in this world, and not that I am trying to censor anything from my kids, I’m not, I’m probably more open than I should be with them, but I want to be in control of what they learn and who they become. And I feel (and this is just my personal opinion) like public schools are slowly trying to push the parents out of the picture. So for as long as my children will let me, I will homeschool. (Cue strange looks, now!)

I never thought that I would start my own business. I’m not the business kind of gal, I blame the hippie in me, but it’s true, never been fond of business or starting one or owning one, nothing, no thanks, next please! But when I realized that I could stay at home, make things, and make money, well what’s not to love. This is actually the perfect job. I have my kids and my own office, and by ‘office’ I mean craft desk/table. I don’t have to get dressed, if I don’t want to, and my hours are flexible. It doesn’t get much better than that.

I never thought that I would have my own blog or that I would be a published author. Mind Blown! I never thought that people would actually ever be interested in reading what I had to say, write. I never thought that I would be talking about my relationship with God and my walk with Jesus. I never thought that people would relate to me or that this was what I was supposed to do. Waking up every morning and reading sweet emails from people telling me how my piece really touched them, is a feeling I can’t even describe. Or when someone tells you that what you wrote was exactly what they needed to hear. You just have no idea…

But seriously, I never thought that I would be married to my soul mate, with 2 beautiful children who light up my world, living in Texas, writing about life and Jesus, doing, making and creating for my small business, and loving every minute of it, never.

I can’t resist…He is just so good, y’all!

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