This is Jaxsyn.
He is my first born. He is pretty much responsible for everything good in my life. I can still remember the first time I laid eyes on him. He was absolute perfection. 9lbs 1.3oz. He looked like Buddha. I remember the way the love I didn’t even know I had for him swept over me in that instant. I had never felt anything like it before and until you have kids you will have no idea that you are even capable of loving something, someone, in that way. There’s not even a way to put it into words. And words are my life, and I know a lot of them, but no word would even begin to do it justice.
This little boy is my best friend. He has the biggest heart I know. He loves everyone immediately. He is trusting, and makes friends with everyone. His smile can make anyone’s day better. He has a heart of gold and he is always worrying about others. We may have a few hiccups through the day where he does his best attempt at getting upset or making me upset, but he can never stay mad long. He also cannot stand for anyone to be mad at him, so every night before bed, long after anything has happened he has ‘confessional’. He sits on my bed beside me, we give each other kisses goodnight, and he begins his run-through of all the ‘bad’ things he’s done that day.
‘I’m sorry for being mean at you. I’m sorry I didn’t listen. I’m sorry I scared Adelaide. I’m sorry, I won’t do it again. Can we be best pals again? We can? Okay cool. We’ll be best friends forever, right mom?’
Every single night it is the same thing. And while it used to get on my nerves just a little, I know that this is exactly what I need at the end of a long day.
I’m convinced this little boy was sent to save me. And he has done such a good job. It’s because of him that I wanted better for myself and for my life. It’s because of him that I strove hard to make things change. And it’s because of him that I don’t ever give up. He’s been my rock during the move, and I just don’t think he will ever understand what he’s done for me.